Words of Wisdom

Life is not the breaths you take, breathing in and out, but the moments that take your breath away

Thursday, August 13, 2009

My Dad

Monday August 10th we buried our Daddy. We knew he would not want to live very long without our Mom who passed in September 2008, but he did pass all our expectations. Once he got sick he willed himself not to tarry and he didn't.
I am fortunate that the good Lord made me aware that I needed to go see him and I did and he did recognize me.
I hated to see him as he was unable to get up , talk or handle every day things. The pain to me was indescribable however I did all that I could for him while I was there. As much as I hated seeing him living like that I hated the ineveitable phone call that I knew was coming and when it came on August 4th, the realization that I would no longer see that smile or the frown or hear the stutter (from his stroke), discuss golf or Yankees/Rays/Boston, tell hilm about my dog or my kids filled my heart with pain.
I did his Euology and I doubt that I gave him his due. To me I remember the look when he brought up some puppies from the new litter of beagle that he was raising, washing the garbage truck, the lessons he taught me, hunting, fishing, tracking in the woods, how to change the oil, fix the tire, do the plumbing, singing all the old songs in the car late at night when we were cominog home after his calls after work, the time he tore his tendons and couldn't drive, so I got my licesne, the time he burst in to the labor room when I was in labor with my Hunter and the nurse sent him out and wouldn't let him in., how we almost ended up in the Chenago River when he drove me to Lourdes the night of his anniversay, when Josh was trying to be born, teaching me about the church, trying ot teach me shortcuts in math that I never could get until long past my classroom days. Tellimg me over and over you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, hlis charm and how the ladies loved him--- his love for my mother, how he loved surprises, how he treated his Mom , hils family evryone.
I have been doing well but when the American Legion did the first volley of the 21 gun salute, I felt an arrow pierce my heart and I have been grieving ever since. I wanted to cry out but I knew he would not expect that of me so I held tight to Mabel Wrench's hand and thought O God! This is really true, My Daddy has died. I have never felt so lonely in my whole life.

2 comments:

Marion said...

Hello Sandee,

I feel with you. My dad died 30.October 2009. It was / is a sad time. At the moment I have enough to do, and it helped, that I always lived 600 km away. So I haven't followed how worse his illness was. Then 12. December my grandma died, that was hard again, because I have seen her more often, because she lived 60 min by car away.

Take care,

Marion

Unknown said...

Sandy,
I too, like you am on Quiltersbee yahoo list and saw you post your blog. When ready to see quilts, I instead saw your lovely post about your dad. When I say it brought tears to my eyes, I truly mean this. My heart hic-cupped, because my dad is at that tender age of 81 and lately we talk about the what-ifs, the inevitable times when he will not be here. Thank you for writing about your memories. They are so much like mine. I am a daddy's girl and your post reminded me that we all will ace this one day and there are many to talk to about this. Thank you.
Linda
http"//www.lmpoole.blogspot.com